Growing Up....

If it's okay with you I'd like to admit that I'm miserable at the fact that I'm maturing. Not because I can't do fun things anymore, but because I'm losing people who used to be close to me. I guess it's a good thing that I am growing out of relationships that will only bring me down, but I guess it's just hard to except. I love my friends. I love having fun with them and joking and goofing off. They are so far away and will be even farther When I leave for CA. I know this is probably pretty confusing, but I'm going through a lot of changes and I don't really know how to deal with it. I guess I just need to deal. I am beginning to think that this blog is just a place for me to complain because no one reads it and I don't really want the ones I know. This kinds just gets everything of my mind and heart. Maybe it's a note to God. I know he knows what I'm thinking. Sigh... I'm sorry God. I need you. I know I need you. Please help me except the changes that are happening to me. Please comfort me when I feel lonely. I love you God. I'm sorry that I have not been satisfied with what you have given me.  I am a selfish girl and I don't deserve the life you have given to me. I love you.