Sometimes it doesn't hurt. Then, sometimes, when I see kids get that dad hug, you know, the one that envelopes you. The one that makes you warm, on the inside and the outside. The one that squishes your faces but doesn't hurt. The one that makes you say, "I can't breath," but you don't care. The one that is longer then the typical Man-hug. The one that tells you " I love you" without actually saying it.
I have never had that hug before. But that is what I see when dads hug their kids. I want that. More then a lot of things. Just one. Then maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad when I see it. Then again I would probably get attached to it. I guess I am really jealous... William told me even if someone did take me under their wing, that I would really never be number one to them. He wasn't being rude, just honest. I try to accept that fact, but sometimes it is really hard to do so.
As much as I want a dad, I don't want mine. I do want to meet him though. I want him to know what he caused me to feel, and miss. I him to explain himself. And then I want him to watch me walk away. Just like he did. I would do that if I could but I really don't think I would do anything. I don't need a prince charming, I just want I daddy....
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